Before I let go.

Before I let go, I have to write about it.

I tried to totally let go yesterday. But coming to school today, I knew no one was going to make me forget. Lol.

The loss to La Salle yesterday ended our season.

La Salle unarguably played well. They guarded Chris Tiu, Ford Arao and almost absolutely everyone every second of the game. I was once a La Salle fan and their press was something I truly admired about their game. Being on the other side this time, I appreciate it even more because I know how much it hurts to watch your team struggle to break that press.

I know that it's basketball and that La Salle defense cannot be used to justify the way the Eagles played yesterday. It wasn't one of their best days and it was very evident.

I am a fan who has so much faith in the team and so much more importantly, in God. We were in 5th place at a certain point but I knew it wasn't impossible for us to improve our standing this season. I had faith they could get to the finals and eventually win.

Since I first watched live as our team lost to La Salle, I realized how much heart our team had. As I've mentioned in my previous entry, whenever I read the Blue Eagles Bulletin by Rick Olivares and watched the videos that came with them, I grew even more in love with the Ateneo Blue Eagles.

Imagine knowing both an Araneta Colliseum usher and UST Coach Pido Jarencio honor the team for their heart. Knowing that the "pusong Atenista" was proven by our players in the way they lifted themselves from 5th place and from losing a twice to beat advantage to winning against La Salle thrice in 5 very exciting games in one season and to being just 5 points away from entering the Finals, I know I have a lot of reasons to smile and be happy.

And if I cry, it's because I know the team would have wanted to move on and it's because we lost an opportunity. But I know in my heart that the team fought well until the very end, and that's all that matters. Quoting Rick Oliveros once again: "But they went down fighting and sometimes that’s all you can ever ask. "

It may seem illogical to put so much of your school pride on the line whenever your team plays on the court. A school may seem shallow for being united by mere "guys wearing baggy shorts shooting hoops." It may seem stupid to feel so connected to a group of people whom you've never even talked to and probably never will. But now I understand. Imagine a common desire, a common passion, a common joy, a common hurt and a common prayer shared by a community of around 10,000 people. It's almost impossible not to be drawn into that much energy. You just feel the school spirit. You can smell it in the air during the UAAP season. And it's not only because you see almost everyone wearing blue during game days even if not everyone is going to watch live.

At the start of the school year, there were still some doubts as to whether I was going to be happy in the Ateneo. There were some doubts as to whether this was the school I wanted to be associated with and to attach to my name forever. As shallow as those statements above as I may seem, the UAAP was a part of how I now know for sure I'd rather be in no other school.

Contrary to what I planned to do, I'm not letting go. I'm holding on to this mixed feeling of joy and disappointment. Because this helped me know with so much finality that I will never grow tired of saying "Ang sarap maging Atenista," singing "Mary for you, for your white and blue. We pray you keep us Mary constantly true," and shouting "Win or lose, it's the school we choose."

I love being an Atenean! :D And now, I shall go study so that I could remain an Atenean. lol. :))